Are you in touch with your inner predator and prey?
For me, training my capacity to embody my inner predator has been a multi-year embodiment journey...you could say a lifetime...because it is surely continuing!
Here's a story on how the prey / predator journey was illuminated in a new way for me while journeying in Mexico...
Three years ago, I was visiting the ancient pyramid site of Teotihicuan. No one knows what pre-Aztec beings built these incredible pyramids, but we do know that they align perfectly with the stars and resemble the chakra energy centers of the body.
Our guide, Vic, shared how these pyramids represent the lunar moon system. Each one is like an enormous bell and the entire site, which is as long as multiple football fields, has the power to amplify and direct SOUND.
Vic shared that Teotihicuan may have been like a university for healers, warriors, artists and mystics to develop themselves. Although today it is a desert, there are remains of aquifers that tell us water once ran freely here. They believe the entire bottom of the site was covered in water to reflect and amplify sound.
As we traversed each pyramid/chakra, my body began to buzz with a power inside of me that wanted to awaken. It was as though the energy of the site was still very much alive and sound would be the activating key of my impending kundalini awakening.Â
However, the many guards swarming the site made it clear that playing music was NOT allowed. I naively tried to enter with my drum and they sent me back. Somehow my partner succeeded in holding onto his flute and serenaded us with beautiful music at the base of the pyramid of the Sun that led our group into a profound state of meditation, until a guard abruptly shouted at him to halt, with his hand rigidly extended in front of my partner's face.
The way this sacred site has been drained of water and starved of creative expression was an intense encounter of toxic masculinity. The location seemed to crave a return of the sacred, causing my body to shake with the desire to dance, yet I felt restricted by the imposed regulations. A reflection of my personal mythology and the mythology of the broader dance between femininity and masculinity that is crying out for transformation.
While music was prohibited, vending was allowed. Vendors kept approaching me persistently, thrusting valuable items in my face for sale. Part of their shtick was to play their jaguar whistles, a very intense (and magical) sound which I imagine is meant for sacred ceremony. Each time the jaguar sound echoed through the site, the hairs on the back of my neck would rise in a primal fear response.
I remember internally laughing because I had been journeying with jaguar medicine for a few years. I was having re-occurring nightmares of jaguars and panthers hunting me, about to rip my throat out, and I would freeze in fear. Now was the opportunity to face my fears in waking life.
I noticed a woman in our group who was also receiving a lot of attention from the vendors. It was if there was a dark cloud around her. Her shoulders slightly slumped in. She looked like prey. I observed how her prey-like energy was like a magnet to the predator-like energy of the vendors.Â
I then shifted my focus to my own embodiment and realized I was also emanating fear, as if trying to escape danger by shrinking. I was embodying prey.
How do I shift this?
I took a deep breath and softened the subtle contraction of my shoulders that were doing a good job of guarding my precious heart. I breathed into my clavicles and imagined I was growing wider, taller and thicker in my torso. I focused my gaze directly on where I was going, no longer giving my attention to the noisy vendors. Rather than resist the jaguar sounds, I let them permeate my body.
I do not to protect myself from predators. I am the predator.
Almost immediately, the vendors began to ignore me and focus their energy elsewhere. I became invisible to them because I no longer had something to give them.
As I walked, I intuitively pressed my palms together at my heart and imagined my inner masculine energy receiving a tune-up. I could almost hear the gears clicking into place as I rooted deeper and grew taller in my spine, broadening my shoulders.
By softening the places of restriction and fear in my body while establishing more structure, I felt my capacity for presence expand. I met a situation that reflected personal and collective patterns of gender disharmony and transmuted my impulse to hide into walking in my power.
Back at home, I continued working with jaguar and my tendency to freeze/appease instead of activate when I felt threatened. Activating is an essential compass for our BOUNDARIES.
Embodying animals is an ancient Indigenous practice where we can learn from the traits of these wild teachers. Jaguar taught me how to stay present amidst fear, particularly in relationship to the sexual trauma in my system that I was working to unwind. Jaguar helped me find and honor my "NO."
Eventually, I had a lucid dream of jaguar where I coached my dream self to stay calm and look her in the eyes. Seamlessly, I became her. I recalled this dream in a breathwork practice the following day and cracked open with tears of relief! I love when personal growth is symbolized in our dreams.
I could tell I was growing my nervous system's range when my partner and I would be arguing and instead of fleeing or shrinking I stood my ground and used my voice to set stronger and clearer boundaries.Â
I advocated for higher pay in my work and enhanced my discernment of who I gave my energy to. I felt more comfortable being honest rather than nice.
At the same time, I found a greater capacity to surrender within containers and relationships where I felt deep trust. I discovered how sweet surrender can be.
For the last year I've been opening this inquiry to my students and clients, curious how investigating their relationship to predator / prey might inspire their journey as well.
The other weekend I facilitated a somatic playshop I called WILD EMBODIMENT outside with 30 amazing humans. After a slow warm-up to connect to our bodies and build safety within the group field, we progressed to exploring the embodiment of our inner predator and prey. A key aspect of somatics is to move slowly and pause for noticing on a physical, emotional and mental level, so we don't bypass anything that is ripe for our attention.
Folks shared insights that included the gifts of being prey, like having expanded sensory awareness, and the challenges of being a predator, like the exertion it takes to hunt and the dependency upon prey.
For some, embodying prey unlocked deep grief because they realized that it felt like "home" in their body.
For others, embodying the predator unlocked suppressed rage and felt satisfying to allow express it.
Ideally, we have the capacity to embody BOTH predator and prey...to activate when we need to and surrender when it serves.
These dynamics touch all of our relationships whether consciously or unconsciously, including in intimacy, work and play.
Are you comfortable embracing both your predator and prey instincts?
Are you aware of which side you tend to favor - the predator or the prey?
Join me for a complimentary somatic series called WILD TRUTH on September 13 and 28 HERE: www.embodysoul.love/wild-intro
If you're longing for a deeper embodiment journey, join our 3 month immersion program WILD EMBODIMENT JOURNEY this fall! LEARN MORE HERE: www.embodysoul.love/wild-embodiment
I hope you enjoyed this share! Please share in the comments and feel free to reach out to connect.
In body and soul,
HayleyÂ
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